


Pining Is Good For The Heart (Shut up Natasha it is)

by MyNameIsSam



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Dramatic Clint, Flirting with paintball guns, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Natasha Romanov Knows All, Oblivious Clint Barton, Pining Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameIsSam/pseuds/MyNameIsSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has a habit of marathoning shows after battles. During his after-battle marathon he finds out something no one on the team knows about Tony. </p><p>Or</p><p>Where Tony really isn’t keeping a secret, he can’t say no to Clint, and there is a sad lack of explosions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pining Is Good For The Heart (Shut up Natasha it is)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated anything recently! I had a massive case of writers block and kept getting sick. I'm working on "Police Officers, Flirting, and Bad Driving" currently and hopefully will update it soon. 
> 
> So I was watching Mythbusters and suddenly this fic happened. But hey this is absolute cheesy fluff, much nicer than the last fic. Hope you enjoy, please leave kudos and comments if you do!
> 
> I edit my fics myself so please tell me if there are any mistakes.

Tony takes his cup from the coffee maker and takes a sip of heaven’s ichor. His eyes close in bliss as he rubs at his eyes tiredly. Yawning he looks up to meet Clint’s eyes.

 

“Tony,” Clint says solemnly. “Follow me.”

 

Clint turns on his heel and leaves the room. Tony blinks tiredly after Clint and shifts, taking another sip of his coffee to meet a confused Steve’s eyes.

 

Tony gestures with the coffee in the direction Clint went. “Any idea what that’s about?”

 

Steve shakes his head, looking confused. “No.”

 

“Well, my day was boring anyway.” Tony chugs his coffee, unwilling to waste it on a whim of Clint’s. Clint stands waiting in the doorway going into the living room. He stares at Tony with the intensity that he normally reserves for pizza. It’s mildly disconcerting. Maybe Tony should have had a second cup of coffee. He sighs and walks up to him, arching an eyebrow.

 

“Well?”

 

Clint stays silent and points to the couch. So, dramatics it is. Tony watches him for a few more seconds and gives up. He throws himself over the back of the couch as ridiculously as he can- which is pretty ridiculously if he does say so himself, and looks over to find Clint standing next to the T.V. seriously. Steve walks into the room warily. He meets Tony’s eyes and makes a concerned face. Tony shrugs and turns his mouth down in an _I don’t know_ expression. Steve turns to Clint and opens his mouth. Clint points at Steve’s mouth and zips his own lips. Clint then points to the couch. When Steve doesn’t move he jabs at it aggressively. Steve looks over at Tony bewildered and takes a seat one cushion away on Tony’s left.

 

“Any idea what this is about?” Steve whispers.

 

“I think he might have been hit harder than we thought. Those giant animated teddy bears of death did pack a punch.” They did and they were terrifying. Even Doom admitted they were a bad idea. Tony shivers. “Maybe he should’ve stayed in medical a little longer instead of binge watching whatever show he picked this time.” He looks pointedly at the T.V.

 

Clint ignores them both and sits in between them, his leg flush with Tony’s. Tony stares at Clint’s thigh and then forces his gaze up to the ceiling. Pepper picked the ceiling tiles out, so it’s very pretty. Too pretty even. Tony glares at the ceiling, why would something so pretty be so far away? So far you can’t even grasp it, you just stare at it and hope maybe it will notice you one day, but if not you’re good just being friends. Maybe the ceiling has turned into a metaphor for Tony’s life. Clint points at the remote seriously and presses play.

 

“Drama queen,” Tony mutters.

 

Steve stifles a laugh into his hand. Clint flicks Tony on the head. “Watch.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes and huffs, rubbing at his forehead. The themesong for MythBusters comes on. Tony’s eyes widen and he ducks his head, embarrassed. Please don’t be what he thinks it is, _please don’t be what he thinks it is_. Steve stares at the screen, still confused.

 

Tony appears on the screen, a manic grin on his face as he’s introduced as the guest star. The Tony on the T.V. is at least a decade younger than the Tony sitting on the couch. Steve’s head whips to look at Tony. Then he stares back at the T.V. Of course it’s what Tony thought it was. Nothing in his life is nice or good. Tony sinks into the couch, grabbing a pillow to pout into.

 

Clint points at the T.V. aggressively. “This! How could you not tell me you were on it?”

 

Tony shrugs, sinking further into the couch. Nice comfy, not embarrassing couch. “It’s not like it ever came up in conversation.”

 

“How did you even get on MythBusters?”

 

“Adam and Jamie were college friends.”

 

“ _Adam and Jamie?”_ Clint asks scandalized. “You call them by their first names?”

 

“That does happen after more than 20 years of friendship and going on their show at least once a season.” Tony says dryly.

 

Steve looks between them confused. “What? Who are Adam and Jamie? Why are you on T.V. Tony?”

 

Tony opens his mouth, but his words are stopped by a hand over his mouth. Tony glares at the person connected to the hand. He licks Clint’s hand and tries to bite him. “I have something- Tony that’s not going to work. I grew up in a circus, licking my hand is nothing.” Tony licks Clint’s hand one last time to spite him and settles for glowering at him. “As I was saying, I have something that will answer all of your questions.” Clint presses the play button and the screen flashes.

 

_Tony stands next to Adam and is intensely focused on the target in front of him. They both stand behind a protective barrier with a small hole in it. He picks up the gun and checks it, taking aim he shoots the beaker in front of him. The beaker breaks, flames shooting up from it. Tony and Adam highfive, cackling. The next scene has Tony holding a blowtorch and he presses a button on the side as Jamie gives him a thumbs up. Blue flame shoots from it, melting everything in it’s path. The screen fades to black and Tony shows up on the next screen._

 

 _“Hey everyone! I’m back again. This episode should be_ explosive _.” He makes finger guns and pretends to shoot them._

 

_Tony stands next to Adam and Jamie. Jamie grabs a golf club and throws it at a mirror, breaking it. “Don’t try this at home. We are professionals.” They all say together. Tony winks at the camera._

 

Tony bats Clint’s hand away and covers his face. He can’t believe he did finger guns on T.V., hundreds of thousands of people saw that. Steve stares at the screen with a look of abstract horror on his face. “You were on a show where you had free range to blow things up?”

 

Clint nods at Steve. “And the asshole didn’t even invite me.” He turns back to Tony and glares.

 

Tony throws his hands in the air. “I didn’t even know you then!”

 

“Not an excuse, I know you’re supposed to go on the show this year too! I did my research.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d want to come on a show where all we do is science!”

 

Clint stares at Tony. “When have I ever said no to explosions, Tony?”

 

Tony opens his mouth, protests about to burst from his lips, and closes it. “You may have a point.”

 

“And it’s worse, you didn’t let me on the show AND you didn’t let anyone know that you have great aim with a gun. We could have hung out at the shooting range!”

 

Tony stares at him incredulously. “I was a weapons manufacturer, you all remember that right? Of course I can shoot guns. I do need to test my weapons.”

 

Steve rubs his head sheepishly. “In our defense it’s hard to remember when we only see you fight in the suit.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes. “I haven’t needed to fight in anything else.”

 

Clint turns to Tony and suddenly the full force of his puppy eyes are directed at Tony. “Tony?”

 

Tony looks at Clint, a sense of dread building as his shoulders slump with defeat. “Yes, Clint?

 

“Can you get me on the show?”

 

Steve shakes his head furiously at Tony out of Clint’s line of sight. _No_. Steve mouths. _That’s a bad idea._

 

Tony gives him a helpless look and says carefully to Clint. “I don’t know Clint, it’s pretty sudden. I’m going to appear on the show in a few weeks. That’s not a lot of time for them to change the plans.”

 

Clint’s eyes get bigger and he says dejectedly. “Please, Tony? I know it’s short notice, but it would mean a lot if you could get me on the show.”

 

Tony finds himself nodding before he can think about what he agreed to. Shit. Clint whoops and grins. “Thanks Tony!”

 

Tony looks at Steve, who has his head in his hands. “You’re a wuss.” Steve tells his palms.

 

Tony sympathizes with Steve’s palms. They probably feel just as insulted as he does. “You try saying no to his face!”

 

Steve grabs Clint’s head and stares Clint in the eyes. “No, Clint. You can’t go on the show.”

 

“It’s too late, Steve!” Clint says cheerfully. “Tony already said yes.”

 

Steve sighs and lets go of Clint’s face. “This is going to go wrong.”

 

Tony agrees. Clint whistles happily and sits back to watch the rest of the episode.

 

* * *

 

Natasha walks through his bedroom door. Tony lets out a high pitch scream and clutches his shirt to his bare chest. He stares at her with horror. Why does nobody respect privacy here? She arches an eyebrow at him and purses her lips.

 

“How did you even get in here? Everything is locked,” Tony squeaks. “Everything is locked right, Jarvis? How did she get in here?”

 

“She asked nicely. Everything is locked now, sir.” Tony stares at the nearest camera in betrayal.

 

Natasha gives Tony a bored look. She takes a seat on his bed and crosses her legs, crisscross applesauce style. Tony feels a hysterical giggle bubbling in his throat. There’s an assassin sitting on his bed, criss-cross applesauce style. An assassin that asked his A.I. to let her walk into his room, _nicely_. When did his life become a very dangerous comedy? She stares at him silently.

 

He stares back and swallows the giggle. Still clutching the shirt to his chest, he shifts trying to cover himself as best as possible. He feels very much like a distraught damsel on a pirate romance novel cover. Breaking the stare off, he pulls the shirt over his head. His dignity was lost way before the avengers moved into his tower anyway.

 

“Why are you here?” Tony asks.

 

“You’re letting Clint go on MythBusters.”

 

“Yes?” Tony asks hesitantly. He’s learned over the years that being hesitant around Natasha is the best course of action.

 

Natasha rolls her eyes and leans her chin on her palm. “You don’t see how this could go wrong?” Completely valid question. Several good and important points made in seven words. Then she adds, “Especially with your huge crush on him.”

 

Tony feels his face flush. Stupid face. Stupid Natasha. “I see exactly how this could go wrong. And I don’t have a crush on him.”

 

“Mhmm, sure Tony.”

 

“I don’t!”

 

Natasha stares at Tony nonplussed. Tony breaks embarrassingly quickly.

 

“Maybe I have a small, insignificant, not in the least troublesome crush.” Tony admits.

 

Natasha sighs and pats the spot next to her. Tony’s shoulders slump as he walks over. He drops onto the bed and rests his head on her shoulder. Natasha pats his head consolingly.

 

“What am I gonna do?”

 

“You should ask him out on a date.” Natasha pauses. “But I don’t see that happening anytime soon. So the plan is just to make it through the filming without dying.”

 

Tony sighs. It’s never good when her plan isn’t any better than his.

 

“Now c’mon,” Natasha pats his head one last time and gets off the bed. “Let’s go get nachos and smoothies.”

 

“The corner place?” Tony asks hopefully.

 

“Where else?”

 

Tony hops off the bed and follows her with a small smile.

 

* * *

 

Tony hears the sound of a gun click next to his ear as he readjusts his stance to accommodate the weight in his hands. He shifts his shoulders, rolling his right shoulder back, where the butt of the gun rests. He stares down the barrel and meets Clint’s eyes. He watches as Clint’s eyes dilate, letting out a puff of breath as his finger pulls the trigger. Clint scream gets cut off as he goes flying off the side of the building, his chest already blooming red.

 

Adam cheers beside him triumphantly. Tony puts the gun down and jogs over to the side of the roof. Clint’s hanging from a cable, swaying back and forth with the wind. He can hear Clint’s laughter over Adam and Jamie’s discussion of the results of the first test.

 

Tony cups his hands around his mouth and leans his elbows on the roof. “Clint, how’s it hanging?”

 

Tony looks down to see Clint giving him the middle finger with both hands. Tony grins down at him. The crane groans as the cable attached to Clint jerks and settles, pulling Clint up steadily. Adam joins Tony by the side of the roof.

 

“He’s pretty bouncy isn’t he?”

 

Tony shrugs. “You need to be able to bounce off stuff in the superhero business. Literally and figuratively.”

 

Adam nods, understandingly. “So… I saw you were fighting big bad teddy bears on the news.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Adam tilts his head and gives Tony a sly look. Tony braces himself. “Did you beat the stuffing out of them?”

 

Tony narrows his eyes at Adam. “Sure, you make jokes, you can because _you aren’t scarred_.”

 

Clint raises his voice and crosses his arms over his chest. “There wasn’t any stuffing to beat out of them, just evil and metal.” He hangs limply from the cable. “Can you stop chatting and put me back on the ground?”

 

Adam snorts. “Sure thing.”

 

Tony grabs Clint’s left bicep, heroically ignoring the definition and shape, as Adam grabs the other side. Clint’s body leans against his, his arm around Tony’s shoulder for balance. Tony gulps and focuses on the nice pretty sky directly behind Clint’s shoulder. Clint’s arm tightens, pulling Tony in closer as his feet touch the ground. Tony lets go of Clint quickly and takes a few steps back, counting his breath as he tries to find his footing again. He shakes his head slightly and looks up to meet Clint’s eyes.

 

Clint grins at Tony. “Why’d you pick red paint? Wanted the blood splatter effect? That’s kinda messed up, Tony.”

 

Tony gives his best unassuming smile. The one who he has been told, by Pepper and Fury, looks a lot like his planning evil smile. “You’ll see soon.”

 

Clint’s stares at him warily. “What do you have planned? You’ve already shot me off the side of a building. What else do you want from me?”

 

Tony tilts his head and pretends to listen to something. He smiles and turns on his heel, calling over his shoulder. “Oh, better get in place. Adam’s calling me to get ready.”

 

“Adam’s right next to me, you asshole!” Clint calls.

 

“What’s that? I can’t hear you!”

 

“He can hear me, he’s only 30 feet away,” Clint tells Adam.

 

Adam laughs boisterously. “Better get in position, didn’t you hear? I’m calling for everyone to get ready.”

 

Clint glowers at both of them, and carefully goes back into place, looking around suspiciously.

 

Tony picks up the modified paintball gun, checking that it’s unloaded. Picking up a modified paintball, Tony loads it and hears the satisfying click of it sliding into place. Tony and Clint had planned to get some old cars and blow them up in the most spectacular ways imaginable. But Natasha, Steve, and Fury had put a ban on big explosions. With, Tony quotes, _“The danger being too great for any single one of us to understand.”_ So Tony, being the genius he is, had found a way to make it fun even without fire. The experiment had changed into seeing how far a body could be flung when shot with a modified paintball gun. Clint of course being the volunteered body. The answer is pretty far.

 

Tony holds the gun loosely at his shoulder, waiting as the camera crew gets back into place. He grins at Clint and waves. Clint looks over each shoulder suspiciously and looks at him again squinting. He mouths _What do you have planned?_

 

Tony smiles back innocently.

 

Jaime walks by, scribbling on his clipboard. He looks up distractedly. “On the count of three shoot him.”

 

Tony salutes him. “Will do.”

 

“One.”

 

He raises the gun, pointing it at the red paint on Clint’s chest. Clint grins widely at him, the excitement making him lower his guard.

 

“..two.”

 

Clint gives him a thumbs up and bounces on his heels.

 

“..three.”

 

Taking a deep breath Tony squeezes the trigger. The recoil travels down his hand and into his shoulder. A second later gold paint explodes on top of the red paint, coloring Clint’s black shirt. Clint goes flying back, coughing and wheezing. Tony puts the gun down and goes to the ledge, smirking. He hears an insulted squawk from below.

 

“Son of a bitch!” Tony watches as the cable connected to Clint’s harness swings back and forth. His gaze follows it down to Clint, whose waving his arms dramatically. Clint’s neck is craned down to look at his red and gold splattered shirt. “You asshole, these are not my colors!”

 

Tony smirks. “Red and gold is everyone’s color.”

 

“It doesn’t go with my fair complexion!”

 

“Not too bad from here, but then again you are forty feet away.”

 

Clint waves his hand rudely at Tony. “Pull me up so I can tell you what I think.”

 

Tony’s lips quirk in a small grin. Clint’s version of telling a person what he thinks is cursing them out in every language he knows. Tony gives the crane worker a thumbs up. The crane worker gives him an _are you sure?_ look, due to the threats and expletives Clint is still shouting at him. Tony rolls his eyes and shouts over Clint. “He’s a softy really.”

 

The crane worker looks doubtful but nods and presses the big red button. The crane starts to lift Clint up slowly. Tony watches amused as Clint’s upset face comes closer and closer to the ledge. He can’t believe he fell for such a big drama queen. Tony’s normally the dramatic one in his relationships- which he doesn’t have with Clint. Only friendship. Tony gives his face a light slap to get his mind back on track. An intern walking by gives him a concerned look and walks by warily. Tony shrugs and turns back to Clint. When Clint finally reaches the ledge he hangs there, unwilling to let Tony help him. Clint crosses his arms and does his best impression of an upset toddler. While hanging from a crane.

 

“I have never felt so betrayed.” Clint says, sounding comically grave. He adds, “You asshat.”

 

“Why?” Tony asks, his eyes ranking over Clint’s hanging form. “You look good in my colors.”

 

Clint’s eyes widen as his face goes momentarily slack. “What?”

 

Tony feels his face redden unexpectedly, panic building right behind the arc reactor. That hadn’t come out as their normal banter. That had come out laced with sexual tension and heat. Time to abort mission. He gives his best winning smile to Clint, and points behind him with his thumb. “I need to go over there… now.”

 

He walks backwards as he points and tries not to look as panicked as he feels.

 

“Tony wait!” Clint struggles in his harness, his feet waving above the ground. “We need to talk about this!”

 

“No we don’t!” Tony disagrees. “We absolutely do not have to talk about this!”

 

“Communication is healthy!” Clint screams, still struggling to get out of his harness.

 

Tony does the only thing he can in this situation. He pretends there’s something wrong with his gun and runs away to the lab.

 

* * *

 

Tony is fiddling with the gun, he might as well get something out of avoiding and lying. He wants to see if he can get it to have greater distance and impact without breaking Clint’s ribs. They’re nice ribs and Tony would prefer not to break them. Or any part of Clint really.

 

So far he’s successfully avoided Clint for four hours. Honestly it’s impressive and Tony should get an award for it. He pulls out a spring with his tweezers and turns to grab his screw driver. He stops mid motion, hearing scratching above his head. He lifts his head and looks up at the vent curiously. Do they have rats in here? The metal grate drops from the ceiling, Tony winces as it clangs to the floor. Rats can’t remove metal grates from vents. Tony stares at the entrance to the vent in confusion.

 

Wait.

 

Shit.

 

Tony knows a rat that prefers vents. He drops behind the table as something flashes in his vision. He grimaces as something cold hits his shoulder and splatters along his neck. He hits the ground and rolls to his feet, ducking behind the table. Putting his fingers to his neck, he pulls his hand away and stares down at it in confusion. His hand’s stained purple. He tilts his head down to look at his suit shirt, which is now also purple.

 

“What?” Tony asks the room.

 

He hears several more bangs from the vent and looks up at it suspiciously. A paintball gun drops from it and clatters along the ground. Following it is a pair of black boots, then dark jeans, and finally a paint splattered shirt. Clint lowers himself down the rest of the way slowly, his muscles shifting in his arms. Showoff. Clint looks extremely smug. Clint drops from the vent completely. Putting his hands on his hips he says. “Now I got you.”

 

Tony gapes at him and slowly stands.

 

Clint strides confidently towards Tony and grabs each side of his shirt collar. “You could have just asked me on a date.” Clint tells him causally.

 

Tony nods, eyes tracing Clint’s face and settling on his mouth. “I’ll remember that next time.”

 

Clint’s eyes sparkle with amusement and heat as he pulls Tony into a kiss. Tony’s hands leave his side and bury themselves in Clint’s shirt along his hips. Tony’s fingers splay along Clint’s hip, his shirt rucking up. Tony feels the hot skin beneath his fingers and makes an involuntary noise of pleasure. Clint’s lips are slightly chapped warm heat under his. Clint’s hands slide down from his collar to wrap themselves around Tony’s back and pull Tony more securely into him. Clint pulls back and Tony follows, pecking him on his smiling mouth three more times.

 

“Tasha’s gonna be really smug.”

 

Tony blinks at him, a bit dazed. “Why?”

 

“I may have called her for advice on this. And she may have told me to do ‘woo’ you this week so she’d get all the money in the bet. **”**

 

Tony laughed through his nose. “Of course she did.”

 

“Wanna go get pizza after this?”

 

Tony pretends to swoon, still in Clint’s embrace. “A man after my own heart.”

 

Clint’s laughter fills his chest with warmth.

 

“Only if you don’t ever mention Natasha again while we're kissing, it’s weird.”

 

Clint shrugs. “I can’t make any promises.”

 

* * *

 

“So,” Sam starts. “You guys together now?”

 

Tony blinks up at Sam innocently. “What would make you think that?”

 

Sam gestures to Tony’s place on Clint’s lap, his arms bracketing Tony in.

 

“What this?” Clint asks. “This is platonic. Strictly no-homo, bro cuddling. Don’t you, Bucky, and Steve do this all the time? You guys are attached as the hip.”

 

Bucky walks by eating lucky charms straight from the box. “Sam missed the cuddling sessions the last few weeks. It’s just been homo without him.”

 

Steve turns three different shades of red as Bucky plops half on the couch and half on him. Bucky wordlessly hands Steve a hair tie and continues eating the cereal. On auto-pilot Steve puts Bucky’s hair into a bun. Tony and Clint stare at him delighted and high five each other. Sam sighs and puts his face in his hands.

 

“Really, Bucky? You decide to finally tell us all your dating Steve this week? How much money do you want me to lose?” Sam asks dejectedly.

 

Natasha turns her book page from the cushion next to Tony and puts her hand out. “Pay up, for both.”

 

Bucky continues eating his lucky charms as everyone else pays Natasha. Them Russian’s and their truces. Bucky never has to pay like the rest of them.

 

“Jarvis pay her the usual.” Tony asks.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Natasha nods approvingly. “I like the knives you sent me, the chocolates from france were a nice touch.”

 

“Only the best for the scariest person on the team.” Tony teases.

 

Natasha flutters her eyelashes at him. She says breathlessly, “Oh, Mr. Stark, what will your boyfriend think of such flirtation?”

 

Clint grins at both of them.

 

“You couldn’t have just waited one more week?” Sam bemoans.

 

“No time like the present,” Clint says cheerfully, tightening his hold on Tony.

 

“So,” Tony says. “Since the rest of us have come out with not-so-secret secrets, anything you want to tell us Sam?”

 

Sam and Bruce flush at the same time. “I can’t think of anything.”

 

“Really?” Bucky asks, smirking. “Nothing about a scientist with bushy hair, who's been sneaking into your room every night?”

 

“Nope,” Sam says, face bright red. “Nothing to say about that.”

 

“Bruce?” Steve asks innocently. “You have anything to add?”

 

Bruce blushes harder and sighs. He curls his fingers around Sam’s wrist, pulling on it lightly. Sam’s embarrassment drains out of him and he plops down next to Bruce. “Sam and I are dating.”

 

Tony reaches over to the right couch and highfives a long suffering Bruce. “Yay for healthy committed relationships! Anyone else want to add anything?”

 

Natasha puts her book down and crosses her legs at the ankle. Everyone stares at her expectantly. “I’m dating Sharon.”

 

Tony groans and lets his head thump onto Clint’s shoulder. Clint makes a pleading noise to the gods- possibly Thor, Tony can’t make it out as Clint’s muttering it into Tony’s hair. Sam rolls his eyes as Bruce sighs quietly. Bucky and Steve snort. Steve says, “We know Natasha. You talk about her all the time. It makes it hard to go to work everyday and see her.”

 

Natasha shrugs unrepentantly. “She’s amazing.”

 

“Can we start watching the movie before she starts waxing poetry about Sharon again?” Clint asks.

 

Sam darts for the remote and presses play. A sigh of relief goes through the room.

 

Natasha glares at Clint. “I listened to you wax poetry about Tony and that’s before you were even together.”

 

“That’s bro code, Tash, bro code. And you’re breaking bro code by talking about it now.” Clint says petulantly.

 

Natasha shushes him with a mocking finger on her lips. “The movies starting.”

 

Tony snuggles into Clint’s side and places a placating kiss on his neck.

 

“What was that for?” Clint whispers.

 

“Being you,” Tony says, feeling uncharacteristically sentimental.

 

Clint looks at him softly and kisses him on the lips. Tony hears gagging from somewhere behind him. He feels one of Clint’s arms release him, presumably to give someone the middle finger. Tony wraps his hand around the back of Clint’s neck and deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into Clint’s mouth.

 

Natasha clears her throat after a few minutes. When that doesn’t work she elbows Clint in the side. Clint makes a pained noise but continues kissing Tony. “Stop making out.” She hisses. “1, you’re sitting right next to me and I don’t need this. 2, this is Finding Nemo, a _PG_ movie.”

 

They break apart finally. Tony grins at Clint’s tousled hair, kiss swollen lips, and flushed skin. “I like it better PG-13.”

 

“Or even better, rated R.” Clint adds, smirking at Tony.

 

“Get a room.” Bucky groans. “I want nemo to be found and they’re never going to find him with you guys sucking faces.”

 

Tony leers at Clint. “Your room or mine?”

 

“You’ve got a bigger bed.” Clint says immediately.

 

Tony links his hand with Clint’s and pulls them both off the couch. Sam, Natasha, and Bucky whistle behind them, as Steve and Bruce quietly laugh. Clint grins at him and pulls him in for quick kisses along the way to the elevator. Clint grabs Tony’s hips and kisses down his neck, walking Tony to the back wall of the elevator.

 

“Weren’t we trying to get to my room?” Tony asks, words filled with amusement.

 

“Too far.” Clint grunts against his neck.

 

Tony lets his head thump back against the wall to get Clint more room to work. Clint immediately takes advantage and starts unbuttoning Tony’s shirt as he bites lightly at Tony’s jaw.

 

“The beds more comfortable.”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

Tony buries his hand in Clint’s hair and tugs lightly. Clint groans and shivers against him. Tony grins and looks down in delight. He tugs a bit harder and Clint makes the same noise. Tony uses his grip to pull Clint up into a kiss.

 

“Should I continue to hold the elevator door open for you, sir?” Jarvis interrupts.

 

Tony groans against Clint’s mouth. Not even the happy kind of groan. “Jarvis, are you really cockblocking me?”

 

“I don’t know what you mean sir.”

 

Tony glares at the open door. He feels Clint’s body start to tremor with laughter.

 

“Hey.” Tony scolds. “No laughing. Sexytime is not the time for laughter.”

 

Clint laughs harder against him. “I- I can’t help it, _your A.I. is cockblocking us_.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes and pushes Clint off of him. “Follow me if you're interested in something more than giggles.” He sheds his shirt as he walks into his living room. The laughter follows him out of the elevator.

 

“I’m sorry Tony,” Clint gauffs. “It’s just that your A.I. uses his power to prank you instead of going all Skynet.”

 

Tony glowers at him. “I have my shirt off and you’re still laughing at me!”

 

Clint stops laughing abruptly, looking at him seriously. “I give it a 9.5.”

 

“What- Wait why a .5?” Tony is a goddamned 10 and he knows it.

 

“I’m taking half a point off for the wait.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes and pulls Clint in, his arms around Clint’s neck. “You’re prolonging the wait right now.”

 

Clint grips the back of Tony’s neck and leans down. He stops with his lips lightly brushing Tony’s. “I would never.”

 

Tony tilts his head up and meets their lips together. The Avengers alarm goes off. Tony and Clint break apart, cursing. Clint points at Tony as he walks back to the elevator. “We’re getting back to this.”

 

“Deal.” Tony agrees, hurrying out to the launch pad. He hears the doors to the elevator shut. Tony feels the armor close around him and launches himself into the air. Whatever villain decided now was a good time to do their villainous things was _going to pay_. Tony had been waiting a really, really long time for fun times with Clint.

 

* * *

 

Tony collapses onto the bed. His face smushing into the pillow. Clint drops onto the bed next to Tony, curling his arm around Tony’s back. Clint groans into Tony’s shoulder. “Why do we always get the weird shit? The X-men don’t deal with this.”

 

“Who thought that giant bunnies with fangs were a good idea? Someone with a really bad childhood that’s who.”

 

Clint makes a noise of agreement and snuggles closer to Tony. “I know we said we’d get back to what we were doing before…”

 

Tony nods sleepily. “But can we take a nap and get back to it?” Clint continues.

 

“Yes, nap. Good idea.” Tony turns his head and squints at Clint. “Don’t drool on me.”

 

“No promises.” Clint mutters, his words already slurring with sleep.

 

Tony leans forward and kissed Clint on his brow gently. Clint opens his eyes and looks at Tony blearily. He puckers his lips and tilts his face up for a kiss. Tony snorts and kisses him lightly.

 

“Night, Tony.”

 

“Night, Clint.” Tony closes his eyes and falls into the deepest sleep he’s had in a long time.


End file.
